Life is shitty at the best of times – Part 5

This wonderfully kind women had an amazing patience. 

 

This seemed to play on my mind for a few more weeks.

On one hand I have a great friend; and I mean a really great friend. I have never seen this person in the flesh but I have spoken to her on the phone. We talk all the time and just seem to “click”. But on the other hand, I do find myself falling in love with her. Ultimately this could ruin our friendship; in fact ruin our whole relationship.

November 10th 2004: This other friend said to me. I think you should tell her how you feel, and kept persisting. So I took the gamble and I told her how exactly how I felt.

I told her how I thought she was so beautiful that her eyes just drew me in. I also explained how I had battled with the thought of losing her as a friend and why I had kept it from her for several weeks. The strange thing was she also found me attractive. Well that was a complete shock, I was expecting our friendship to end right there and then, but instead it went from good to brilliant. Our conversations were still the same, except there was a little touch of intimacy now, we were starting to tell each other things we wouldn’t normally tell friends in chat rooms.

After a few weeks, we sort of touched on the subject of “how could this ever work”, as I was in the UK and she was on the other side of the planet in Indonesia. She knew I had a son, which obviously made it hard for anything. We had agreed I would come out there in a years time; if we were still the same and still have feelings for each other. Well as it happens, our feelings grew stronger and as time went by started to arrange my trip over there.

Almost a year after we had told each other how we felt, I flew out to Jakarta. There had already been a few arguments along the way, because of my trust issues, but she had stood by me all this time. She seemed to be so caring, and so kind. Part of me was unbelievably scared, but there was also part of me that knew everything was going to be alright. I remember landing in the airport and seeing a massive sign the full length of of the gate stating

 

I Instantly thought, oh my god, what I am getting myself into. Well we met, and she took me to my hotel (which took another 3 hours to get to). I was hot, fatigued and remember her saying I was so white.

 

Once I got to the hotel, and was shown to my room, I gave her a hug, lay on the bed and almost instantly fell asleep. I was so relieved that this person I had been chatting to for over a year was actually who they said they were. I woke up about 30 minutes later and she was still there sitting on the edge of the bed. I remember it so clearly. This wonderfully kind women had an amazing patience. We had another hug and she left to go home.

The next morning she arrived with breakfast, except it wasn’t really what I would call breakfast. Rice and chicken, some weird ball like things, some sandwiches. I refused everything she had brought, saying I couldn’t eat that for breakfast. But looking back now, it must have cost her a fortune and the time and effort she went to, to bring me all that. So impolite of me and I probably hurt her feelings.

So we left the hotel and went to see her family. What a wonderful family they were, invited me in, although none of her family could speak English, her dad could speak broken English and he took me in and made such an effort to make me feel welcomed.

We spent the next three weeks backpacking round Indonesia. From Jakarta to Depok, then on to Yogyakarta. from there we flew over to Bali and stopped in Ubud for a few days before moving on to Kuta. She had suprised me for my birthday and booked us in to the Hard Rock Hotel. We then flew back to Surabaya and went up to Bromo, an active volcano. We watched the sun rise at the top of volcano which is one amazing memory.

Overall our feelings for each other just got stronger. We could honestly say we had fallen in love. But sadly it had to come to an end, as the time had come to fly home. Its not common in Indonesia to show feelings for each other in public unless you are married. So I wasn’t allowed to kiss or hug her at the airport, which was really hard for me, as I am a very touchy emotional person. But I respected her culture all the way and flew home.

We went back to chatting, and I have to say, it was really hard to see each other on webcam / photos knowing we couldn’t physically touch each other. We had agreed that she would come over to UK over the Christmas period (as she was catholic, I thought it might be nice to experience it in a Christian country) So she arrived just before Christmas and we set off around the country, visiting different places. I have to say it was nothing on Indonesia. It was cold, wet and oh how did she say it… Its bloody freezing. Which when you think she was used to a constant 28c and here it is -5c. Its not surprising it was that cold for her given there was a 30 degree difference in temperature!

My feelings for her just seemed to get stronger and stronger and I had planned that on New Years Day, we would have a private viewing at Stonehenge where we would be allowed inside the circle of stones. We had to get up early as the sun was rising and my heart was racing. I had planned something which was really worrying me and I never really got to sleep the night before.

Right in the centre of Stonehenge, I sat her on one of the stones which had fallen down and asked her to marry me. I can still see her face now. So full of life, so stunned, but her eyes, the same eyes I fell into over a year earlier.

She paused for a few minutes smiling, then said yes. Oh My GOD, I was so relieved, so excited I was the happiest man alive that day. What a start to the year. The photo here is straight after she said yes.