Dear Mr Prime Minister,
On 9th March 2001 my son was born. I never new that having a child could change my life so dramatically. This miracle of life before me was, at the time, the centre of all my joy.
How things have changed in those 5 years. Jamie still manages to change my life day by day, but with different consequences caused by government members and sexist, bias laws. These cause problems that do not seem to be taken in to account.
Last year, I was contacted by the Child Support Agency. This at the time was a complete shock, I was told that my son’s mother had been in touch and now wanted me to pay some maintenance for my son. I was speechless. When we got divorced, we had discussed we would both be responsible for Jamie, and decided to share custody. However, because there are 7 days in a week, one parent had to have one day more, and the other one night more. At the time this was arranged I did not know how the CSA worked.
How I wish I knew that at the time!
They only consider how many nights a child stops with that parent. Which ever has the least is “branded” an absent parent. This is wrong!
They then ask to see how much the absent parent earns, and bases child support on this alone. This is wrong!
They do not consider what debts or bills the absent parent already has. This is wrong!
They do not look at how this will affect the child’s welfare or lifestyle whilst with this absent parent. This is wrong!
I was told that I could appeal against the decision. This is wrong!
I could go on, with many other points, but I am sure you are getting the picture. I am not an absent parent, I love my son more than anything in the world. The time I spend with him every week I always look forward to.
But, I soon will not be able to support him.
When his mother left 4 years ago, she left behind her a trail of debt. I did not know about this until after she had gone. If it was not for my parents, I would have lost my home, as the mortgage was 6 months in arrears. My parents quickly stepped in, and paid all debts, so that I still had a roof over my head to care for my son.
I am still paying these debts back, but the CSA do not want to know about this. This is wrong!
I have had to cut back on all luxuries just so I have enough money to pay the CSA
I always thought that the CSA was to put the welfare of the children first. I would like to ask you Mr Prime Minister how my son’s welfare is being put first.
Every minute he spends with me, he is missing out on the good things that most other children would take for granted. Taking him out shopping has had to stop, because he will want things I can no longer afford, taking him to the cinema or to zoos or other places children want to go had to stop. We used to go to Macdonald’s once a month, this had to stop too. I used to buy him clothes, toys and other things.
The list goes on and on, but now I don’t have any money to buy him anything. Soon I will no longer be able to afford all the bills to keep our home. For over a year now, my parents have let me stop paying them back, they have also taken on board my car insurance, as I couldn’t afford that either.
In the mean time, his mother gets Child Benefit, and from this can also possibly get:
Family tax credit
Child tax credit
And until recently, she got help with paying nursery fees.
If our government was not bias, they would look at all of these things and say “well hold on, if his mother is getting all that help for one night extra a week, surely she does not need maintenance too”
Sadly this is not the case, they look at all of this and actually say “hmm …ok, she is the parent with care, you are the absent parent, there is nothing you can do so we will take more money from you”
This is wrong!
Terribly wrong!
I would like to know how a child can spend so much money whilst sleeping?
I would also like to know how, there is nothing I can do to stop this money being taken from me, when my sister who has 3 kids had it rules in a court that she will receive £20 a week for all 3 children from their father, who only sees them half a day a week. This was ruled, because the court looked at his income and decided he couldn’t afford it.
I would like to know what is going to be done about this system, and how long it will take to sort out. I have theorised that within 5 months I will no longer be able to keep up repayments on my home. My parents do not have the funds to pay my mortgage, so the only option is to sell my home. This would probably light up the CSA’s eyes as they will then rule I am not fit to look after my son, and lose custody of him completely.
This is all wrong Mr Blair, completely wrong, and I would like some answers.
Yours Sincerely