By now, I was beginning to think that all women are just not worth it. My trust levels were extremely low and my self confidence was non-exist-ant. I started chatting to this Scottish lady, who I can only describe as “absolutely loopy!” All she ever came online for was to have a laugh. She was never serious about anything. After a few weeks she introduced me to another program called IRC, in particular IrCQ.
These were chat rooms where lots of people can talk to each other at the same time. At first it was just a mass of writing scrolling up the screen and I didn’t really like it. It was too fast pace for me, and shied away from it. Besides, what would I talk about in a room full of people. I don’t really have friends in the real world, how could I do it virtually.
A few months passed by and it was now Christmas Eve, my son was with his mother and I was all alone. As you could expect, most people I normally chat too are out partying, or doing something else. So I decided to try this chat room stuff, see if I could get the hang off it. As a lot of people where not in the rooms, the text was scrolling slower, so I managed to keep up with it. I started to see people could just talk about anything and nobody seemed to criticise anything which was said. This helped me a lot and started to enjoy it. At first, I was reading what others were writing, but then I could see people were after advice. So I decided to help.
This became a new goal for me, I actually felt like I had a little sense of purpose; something I could do instead of feeling alone and depressed I started to help strangers with problems, offering advice but also someone to talk to.
Juust as the lady / man in Hong Kong was there for me; I could now be the there for others.