What is the worst that can happen?
The worst that can happen is I lose her as a friend
One day whilst logged in to IrcQ I started chatting to a lady who seemed to be having problems with her husband. We got on quite well and eventually started phoning me for support. We became quite good friends and after a few weeks of phone calls (which went on sometimes for hours) her marriage problems started to go away and she seemed to be a lot happier.
She knew about my past and was determined to find me a new partner (even though I had really had enough of women by now). Watching in the chat rooms, I could see her trying to convince all the women who came in to chat room to start chatting to me, as “I was a wonderful, gentle and kind man“. I have to admit I was laughing to myself, thinking that’s not me, really that’s not me.
For a few weeks I humoured her attempts; and as expected she had no look finding anyone. I kept thinking she will give up soon. Then she asked me to join a different room. So I agreed and joined this new room; as I joined I saw her asking this person to chat to me, “as he is special“.
I started to chatting in this new room and over the next few months got talking to this new person. Just general chit-chat as you would with any new person you meet. The general impression I had was this seemed to be a great guy, kind and sincere. I actually enjoyed chatting to this guy and to be free of wondering whether another woman would just disappear on me was no longer an option. One day this person was playing a song in the room; I had not heard it before and asked if they could send me a copy.
This seemed to spark off a new friendship between us, we started chatting more and more (and I still was under the assumption that this person was male). A few weeks later I saw somebody else speaking to them in the chat room; but the things they were saying suggested they were not male after all. So back in the private chat room, I asked him / her which they were. I was slightly shocked to “her” answer.
We carried on chatting for quite a few weeks I think, before she offered to send me a photo. When she sent it, I sort of looked at the photo and just pushed it aside, thinking “yeah shes beautiful, but not interested in women anymore” It must have been a couple of months, when I found myself looking forward to the times we would spend chatting to each other. I longed for those conversations. Even though I had no interest in finding a partner, I found myself wanting her company.
It must have been at least 6 months now, we had been chatting pretty much every week, providing our working schedules did not collide. One of my other friends who also chatted in the room sent me a private message asking if I liked her. Well, I asked her what she meant. I really liked chatting to her, so I guess I do like her.
No, Do you ‘Like’ her?
Oh!, I replied, and proceeded to find her photo again.
Well when I opened up the photo, something weird happened. I could not stop staring at her eyes. I was fixated on them. Wow, I was thinking, she really is beautiful. This friend asked again, do you like her?
Yes I do, but she is too beautiful for me and I’m not really looking anyway. Well she kept asking over the next couple of weeks or so and my answer was always the same. Until one day she said, what is the worst that can happen. So I said, the worst that could happen is I lose her as a friend. She is such a wonderful friend and we get on so well, why let feelings destroy it. Yes I do like her, I like her a lot, but is it worth destroying what we had; and besides we are on opposite sides of the planet!