CSA

Just over 5 years ago, a new life came in to this world… An ickle baby boy….

At the time I can honestly say apart from being shocked and almost bewildered at now being a father, I was not sure how to react. After all, all through his mothers pregnancy i wanted a girl. It took a few weeks before It sunk in that I was now the father of a little baby boy, and I started to change. Jamie became my little boy. I was still not that good at changing nappies, but I did try. However, most of the time I have to admit; I did try to get out of it lol. It wasn’t until just over a year later that things started to change in ways I never expected. At the time my son was born, I was happily married. I can say that our son was definitely born out of love, and can even recall that fateful day he was conceived. I am not sure whether I was just blind to what was happening or just never knew, but his mother was having an affair.

As you can imagine, I was devastated when i found out, and even then, she did not admit that she was having an affair. She just grabbed her car keys, and left. This was at 10 pm on a Friday night, and as she left she muttered the words, I will be back for Jamie first thing in the morning. Three days later, after both myself and her family constantly trying to get hold of her, she eventually phones me. All she said was She will be back later on that day to pick Jamie up. When i asked what was so important that she couldn’t pick him up now, she replied with “I have to take ‘his’ kids to the park”

Sure enough she turned up around 6 pm that night, and told me that I would next see him on the Thursday and have him until Sunday afternoon (and that was how it was going to be from now on). Sill in shock from everything that had gone on, I cant remember what I said or did, I think I just nodded in bewilderment. After a couple of weeks of this arrangement going on, I was happy to have my son all through the weekend. However I was not happy that his mother wasn’t really spending time with him over the weekend, so asked her if we could change the arrangements a little so she would get to spend more time with him. This was not a good idea in her eyes, as 2 days later I received a letter from her solicitor requesting not to change the days, as our son was happy and content with the current arrangements. Then right at the bottom of the letter, it stated that she wanted a divorce.

To this day I am still unsure why she did the things that she did, but I have stopped wondering, and gradually got on with my life.

Two years later, I was then contacted by the Child Support Agency (CSA). Another shock to my system, just as I was forgetting about what his mother had done to me, she throws something else in to the pot. Even though in my eyes I have joint custody of my son, this is not the case to the Child Support Agency (CSA). I have made two tables below to show how I as a parent perceive my custody and as the Child Support Agency (CSA) see it.

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